As most of you know, when I try to grow facial hair, I tend to look like a 13 year old Guatemalan boy.  On estrogen.  With that said, for the last four years, every November I’ve been growing a moustache ridiculing myself for money. What is this madness? Why would I do something like this?  What drives me to continue?

Background – What is Movember?
From their website, Movember is:

… the month formerly known as November, where men and women across the globe join together to raise awareness and funds for men’s health issues. Men grow and women support a Mo (moustache) for 30 days to become walking, talking billboards, for our men’s health causes – prostate and testicular cancer initiatives.
Men who support Movember, called Mo Bros, start by registering at Movember.com. Mo Bros start Movember 1st clean shaven, then grow and groom their Mo, for the rest of the month, raising money along the way. Women who support Movember, called Mo Sistas, also start by registering at Movember.com. Mo Sistas champion the Mo by supporting their Mo Bros, organizing events, leading a team and spreading the important message of men’s health.

So, basically, on Oct 31st, I shave off whatever facial hair I have, and attempt to grow a lip caterpillar, and then post updates to my Movember page.  I feel that if folks are ok with paying a comedian to make them laugh, they should have no problem paying me to let them laugh at me.
Why Do I Do This?
First and foremost, I had a bladder cancer scare a few years ago. If you have never dealt with the fear of possibly being in the grips of the horrible monster known as cancer, or even worse, been diagnosed with it, you don’t truly know where I’m coming from.  Being diagnosed yourself or having a family member/friend diagnosed is worse, obviously…but having to tell your loved ones, family and friends that you may have a disease that kills millions is one of the worst things I’ve ever had to experience.  Seeing the pain on their faces made my physical pain feel like being tickled.  Telling my wife that I might have cancer was one of the hardest, if not THE hardest thing, that I’ve ever done.  Same thing with my best friend. I’ll never forget sitting on my deck, telling him everything over a few beers, and seeing the tears in his eyes.  Those two experiences changed me, and I vowed that I would do what I could to help fight this disease.
Cancer affects millions of people.  I think it’s safe to say that anyone reading this has been affected by cancer.  Either they have been diagnosed with it, or they know someone that has.  It’s a horrible, crippling and an all around douchebag of a disease.
I don’t care if folks laugh at me. I am 1/8 Cherokee Indian, and through some awesome DNA dealings, I received the inability to grow facial and chest hair.  My friends know this, and poke fun all the time, and I don’t care.  I really don’t.  If I can post pictures of my shitty crumb catcher and get money to help fight cancer? Let’s do this!
I’m also very lucky to work somewhere that allows this.  My management is very forgiving when it comes to grooming standards (more on this later) and how I keep my facial hair.  Granted, they’ll make jokes and I’ll then ask for a donation.
Seriously, it all boils down to this:  it’s the least I can do.  If I can use my own self-deprecation to help kick cancer right in the jiggly bits, you are damn right I’ll do it.
My Friends Are Truly Assholes, and I Love Them

Why are my friends assholes?  Because 19 days into Movember, and countless posts on Facebook and Twitter, I had just a hair over $500.  I offered to further embarrass myself in the name of charity and my friends couldn’t separate themselves from their money fast enough.
On Monday, Nov 19, I posted this pic as an update:

I may (or may not have) had a few frothy adult beverages, and this conversation happened in the picture’s comments:

Rob’s twin sister had recently lost her job (and health benefits) and then was diagnosed with breast cancer. He’s been doing a hell of a job to help raise money for her, and I figured this was a way I could help. I texted Rob and after our conversation, I said if I got $500 within the next 24 hours, I’d do the mohawk.
At 9:46pm I posted the following on Facebook:

In coordination with Rob Betz, if I get $500 posted to my Movember (link below) by 9PM tomorrow night, I will do two things: First, I will shave my hair into a mohawk and post it here. Second, I will donate an additional $250 to Rob’s own charity for his sister: http://savingnancysfancies.com/
Bottom line: FUCK CANCER. Let’s destroy this disease.

I underestimated Mr Betz, as he pimped out my post like nothing I expected.  Well played sir 😉
On Tuesday, November 20, at 9:25am, not even 12 hours after I posted:

I had the $500. I was blown away.
Within 12 hours, I had $500 donated to fight cancer, but I had to shave my head into a mohawk, during a nasty cold spell.  Don’t care, got donations!  Special thanks to Mayson for pushing me over the edge in donations.  It figures it would be my best friend to push me over 😉
What now?
I am currently at $1600 for donations.  I would love nothing more than to break the $2000 mark, but at the same time I can’t believe I’ve gotten this much.  I am honestly humbled by people’s donations.  I’m a cynical prick most of the time.  Every time I see my Movember page, I smile, and my faith in humanity is restored a little bit.
Within 28 days we’ve all raised $1600 to beat cancer.  I’ve whored myself out with shitty facial hair.  I’ve probably annoyed folks on FB and Twitter with my posts.  I’ve shaved my head into a mohawk and I’d do EVERYTHING again in a heartbeat.  I hate cancer, and I want to do whatever I can to beat it.
This long ass post is just me typing a bunch of words to thank everyone that has donated.  You don’t know how much it means to me.  Be it a dollar or $300, I’m truly touched by the fact you thought enough to reach out and help.  I honestly don’t know what I can do to top this year, but I said the same thing when I raised $555 last year.  So, with that said, maybe we can do more? I don’t know.  From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank everyone for their donations, for their patience with my posts, and for their understanding.
Thank you all.
 
Dan
Link to donate: http://us.movember.com/mospace/1203800